Bwaha.com » dumb

RNC Fund Raising Mailer Includes Phone Sex Number

bwaha.com — Wed, 05 May 2010 01:11:41 +0000

The Republican’s fund raising letter mailed out last month had a toll-free number to a service that provided “live, one-on-one talk with a nasty girl who will do anything you want for just $2.99 per minute.”

Vendor error, they say. But when pressed, they had to admit it was their best fund raiser ever!

Nazi-Clad Men at Punk Concert Get Beat Up by Crowd

bwaha.com — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 14:11:07 +0000

Can’t say it any wittier than the Philly.com report’s opening line:

“How did they Nazi this coming?”

Topless Gardener’s Husband to Bill O’Reilly: “Pinhead!”

bwaha.com — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 02:04:11 +0000

Bill O’Reilly, on his TV show, called the Boulder, Co., woman who likes to garden topless a pinhead. When interviewed, her husband said, “He is a pinhead. He is a true definition of a pinhead.”

Ooooo. That really stung. I’m no O’Reilly fan, but c’mon people, if the only thing you can come up with is something that will make him look like the sharpest kid on the block, just shut the ef up please.

Conn. 29yo Going to Fake Orgy Advertised on Craigslist Goes to Wrong House… Twice

bwaha.com — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 20:05:01 +0000

Can’t really say anything funnier than what actually happened, just one weird freaking thing after another:

A fake “soccer mom… group sex” ad goes up on Craiglist. Address for home is posted.
29yo “personal trainer” goes to the wrong address. Scares the bejeezus out of the 18yo female occupant. She sends him to the right address.
Man is turned away (and he’s not the only one who dropped by, in case you’re wondering).
So our hero goes back to the first house, telling the 18yo, “I want to make this thing work.”

Obviously, since you’re reading about it, it didn’t work.

52yo Indiana Meth Lab Owner Hides in Manure Pit to Evade Police

bwaha.com — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 19:39:08 +0000

In a pool of liquefied animal feces. For about an hour. And they Tasered him when they found him — resisting arrest, they said, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they were just trying to burn off the stench.

His girlfriend said, “I didn’t believe him when he called and said, ‘Come help me, I’m in deep shit!’ I’ll never doubt him again!”

SEC Employees Caught Viewing Porn While Economy Fell Apart

bwaha.com — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 17:40:16 +0000

I don’t remember reading if the employees were visiting pay-sites. In which case, of course, they could claim they were just helping stimulate the economy.

But maybe we should give them the benefit of the doubt. Notice that the X and C keys are right next to each other, so mistyping SEX may be a common occurrence. In essence, then, this is Google’s fault.

Bolivian Prez Says Eating Chicken Turns Men Gay

bwaha.com — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 20:54:38 +0000

Chickens injected with hormones, in case you were wondering.

To be fair, what he said exactly was:

“…when men eat those chickens, they experience deviances in being men.”

Which really could mean anything from “starts sharing the remote control” to “puts the toilet seat down.”

But sticking with the gay angle, if you think about it, the only real way to tell if this were true or not would be first-hand experience. So it makes you wonder how El Presidente came to that conclusion, eh?

Pasta Recipe Ingredient – “Freshly Ground Black People”

bwaha.com — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 16:52:56 +0000

In Australia’s Pasta Bible book. For Soul Food Pasta, I guess.

Wait till you read their ingredients for Sausage Stuffed Pasta Shells.

Michigan Middle School Music Teacher Faces Felonies for Masturbating

bwaha.com — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 12:12:59 +0000

In school, of course, but he was in his office. And no one saw him. He was “caught” by a janitor who found a tissue in a wastebasket that “smelled like semen.”

So they’re charging him with indecent exposure.

Disgusting and way past dumb, yeah, but not exactly sure the charges make a heck of a lot of sense considering, again, no one saw him nor even knew about it until CSI:Janitor.

Two disturbing things:

Charging him kinda defeats the purpose of protecting the kids from knowing about it. And…
Maybe it’s just me, but what’s up with a janitor who sniffs used tissues?

Iran Cleric: Women to Blame for Earthquakes

bwaha.com — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 22:07:23 +0000

I knew it!!!!